I want to protect. They don't want protection. I want them to love life and see good days. They embrace a world that calls good evil and evil good. They follow a culture that idolizes the temporal and ignores life.
Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Confrontation is needed. Do I have to reveal my sources? Do I have to listen to their excuses and rationalizations and justifications and denials?
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.

My source's heart is now unburdened. The burden has transferred to my heart.
O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!

Today is not the right day to confront. I don't have my other half for support. What do I do with the upcoming requests for more world-engagement?
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
And have made it mine.

The anger of betrayal wells up. It is not a righteous anger. How do I interact with the weeds where I planted flowers and prevent my unrighteousness from fertilizing the weeds?
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;

I have an inkling of my own depraved heart. I recognize my need for a non-stop shower of grace. My weeds think of themselves as flowers and profess an infatuation with desert conditions.
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!

I wait, with no patience. I wait for the common grace that has them doting on puppies while they fill their ears and heads with violence to be saving grace.
Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.

One of my sin-riddled progeny labors to repair a computer with a corrupted registry. The parallel is obvious to me. Yet the work is done in oblivion. Only One can completely reformat a system; a mindset; a lifestyle; a heart.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.

Jesus I am resting, resting.

Two sleep walk incidents last night: I heard noises downstairs and saw the kitchen light on around 1:30. I went downstairs and John was standing in the middle of the kitchen, with his head bent and arms hanging at his sides. John, John! Startle. Go to bed! Huh? Shuffle, shuffle, and off he went.

At 3 I was awakened by an odd clump, clumping sound down the stairs. I stirred from my sleep and heard all kinds of pots and dishes banging around in the kitchen. I went to investigate and Megan was downstairs doing the dishes, of all things! In my sleep befuddled mind, I stopped her. (Meaning, I shouldn’t have interrupted until they were all done!) Megan, what are you doing? I forgot to do the dishes last night. Megan, go to bed. Oh, okay. And off she clumped in her one slipper (the cause of the clumping). I heard a dog bark outside, called Luna in and headed for bed. I went to put Luna in Megan’s bed and tripped over Megan; she was curled up on the floor of her room. Again, Megan, get up and go to bed. She stood up, walked 3 steps and fell like a board across her bed. She had no memory of any of this in the morning.

I think I need a nap.

"Do not be anxious about anything. . ." Okay. How about wonder with little gnarly things in my stomach thrown in for good measure?

The pregnant dog ate my daughter's Valentine's Day Dove Chocolate rose. Not enough to kill her, just make her sick. On the carpet. On the sofa, seeping between the cushions, dripping onto the floor. But what about the puppies? Gnarl, gnarl.

My 14 y/o SOT (Son of Thunder) has figured out how to get around the cyber blocking. Today it's only unapproved TV shows, what about when that gets old? Should I pull him from cyber school so that he will not have continual computer access? Gnarl. Can they make the cyber block stronger? Gnarl.

The same son flew through a final exam (presumably so he could get to the TV show) and got a 61% Those submit buttons are so unforgiving. Gnarl.

Eldest son is signed up for an online Physics course. He works all day, comes home, doesn't understand the problems so plays computer games. Gnarl.

Eldest daughter posted her graduation party on Facebook. Potato salad recipe times 6. Pick up another 4 packages of hotdogs. Up to 160 cans of Coke, Mt. Dew, etc. How many buns do I buy for the BBQ and dogs? Are 8 bags of cheese curls enough? Will we be eating potato salad for the next week? Gnaaaarrrrlll.

We had all six kids at the dentist three weeks ago. The insurance (new) came back and informed us that our dentist is not a preferred provider. $$$Gnarl$$$$.

". . but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " Phil. 4:6-7